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Johnny Two Kebabs


Like top athletes and artists Johnny developed certain approaches to his chosen fields of expertise, often he has described to me the "state of flow" he experiences when he achieves a particular goal. The most famous example, of course, is when he ate two done kebabs in less than two minutes (after already having downed thirteen pints of lager) but this is not Johnny's sole achievement. Today he is as much known for his achievements as a "conscious-vigilante" as for his record-breaking achievement in Achmed's kebab shop.

In his memoirs we learn not only how Johnny operates behind the scenes in his fight against evil but also about his 'philosophy' and the 'ethical' code by which he lives.

Books by Johnny Two Kebabs

The Mixed Doner Murders by Johnny Two Kebabs. Book cover
Who is Johnny Two Kebabs? There has been much speculation in recent years as to whether Johnny Two Kebabs really exists. Is it true that on 15th June 2011 after drinking 13 pints of lager he polished off two doner kebabs in 1 minute 59 seconds? Is Johnny Two Kebabs just an urban legend? Is the song that was written about him and for which the video appears on the internet merely in the tradition of Irish blarney and storytelling?
Fiction > Humor
Johnny Two Kebabs - The Prequel. Book cover
On 15th June 2011 an extraordinary event took place in Brixton, south London. An Irishman ingested two doner kebabs in 1 minute 59 seconds after already having consumed 13 pints of lager. Now, for the first time, the true story of the events leading up to this feat is recounted by the protagonist, "Johnny Two Kebabs." In this "prequel" Johnny relates the truth about how his exploits have ensured his place in the "Pantheon" of characters who have shaped modern society.
Fiction > Humor